Salary Negotiations, Don’t be Tough, be Honest

I read a blog post the other day about how to properly negotiate a salary. It received a lot attention on Hacker News and generated a heated discussion. Obviously this is important to many of us — me included.

However, I see things differently than Patrick. I’ve liked almost all of my bosses (5 to date), and enjoyed my past places of employment. I’ve generally felt fairly compensated and when I haven’t, I’ve done my research to make sure my feelings match reality then talked to my boss about it. In short I’ve treated salary negation like a considerate human relationship, not a game to win. Maybe I’ve “left money on the table,” but I hate playing games and frankly compensation negotiations aren’t a game.

The gist of the post is this: “Be more assertive and shamelessly demand more.” I’ve been thinking about that advice quite a bit since reading it and it makes me feel sorry for those who have to follow this advice at face value.

I do agree that many people, not just those of us in IT, need to be more frank about their needs and wants, but why the need to take such an adversarial approach? It’s important to keep in mind that you’re negotiating with a human being and all the emotional baggage that comes with it.

I guess original author believes that being difficult in negotiations is the best method to get the most value. Honestly, I haven’t tried it but I imagine it leaves the risk of getting a relationship off on the wrong foot. And, at the end of the day, a large part of your job satisfaction relies on the relationship between you and your manager.

The whole discussion around “don’t give the first number” is ridiculous. My “rule number one,” and only rule, in going into any negotiation is to know what you want as the result before you start. Given that, if you have done your research and know what salary you want, there is no reason not to come out and state it when asked.

If the hiring manager wants to ask for a number in the first interview, fine with me. “I want around $xxx,xxx. Of course I’ll take into consideration the complete package but I think that’s a fair starting point.”

At that point you can end that line of questioning and decline to get more specific without coming across like you are playing games. If they do persist and ask you for more details (expected vacation, etc.) at this point you can comfortably tell them you don’t want to get into those details yet. Unless you do. In that case tell them you like to take every August off to be with your European relatives. Or that you need to work from home every Friday. Why not?

Everyone is different and everyone has their own style and organizations are much the same. So go into negotiations prepared, do your homework on salaries and compensation packages and know what you want, but in the end be yourself. Then when the final job offer makes you happy, take the job and be happy.